This is a "transcript" of the Mumming play as
performed by Thelwall Mummers (aka Morris Men) and represents the
basic script used, though I have never known a Thelwall
performance to be basic script only!
Some notes have been added on certain aspects of interpretation, and
minimal stage direction is given in italics.
All characters wait in the wings (outside the pub) and make their first appearance when "introduced".
All (sung) | ||
Here's one, two, three jolly lads all in one mind |
||
Fool | ||
I open the door and enter in. So room,
brave gallants all |
||
Slasher | ||
In come I the Turkish Knight |
||
George | ||
In come I, Saint George |
||
Dragon | ||
Who's that who seeks the Dragons blood3, so angry and
so loud |
||
George | ||
Stay you noisy dragon, boast more [They fight and George slays Dragon] Here am I, Saint George, that man of courage bold Phoebe - Thou art so lovely |
||
Phoebe | ||
Saint George, although you've won me fair this day |
||
George | ||
Show me the man who bids me stand |
||
Fool | ||
Step up Bold Slasher, come this way |
||
Slasher | ||
In come I the Turkish Knight, the Greatest |
||
George | ||
My head is made of iron |
||
Slasher | ||
My body is of steel |
||
George | ||
My arms and legs are beaten brass |
||
Slasher | ||
No man can make me yield |
||
George | ||
Pull out your sword and fight |
||
Slasher | ||
Pull out your purse and pay |
||
George | ||
No satisfaction shall you get |
||
Slasher | ||
Battle to battle then let's cry |
||
George | ||
Battle to battle then let's sound |
||
Slasher | ||
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee |
||
[They fight5 - Slasher is killed] |
||
Fool | ||
Come in old King the battles done |
||
King of Egypt | ||
Oh Cruel George, what have you done |
||
George | ||
'Tis true I killed yon Turkish Knight |
||
Slasher | ||
Oh no I didn't |
||
All | ||
Oh yes he did... |
||
King of Egypt | ||
Is there a doctor who can save And an oilwell, two
dancing girls, three eunuchs, four camels, |
||
Fool | ||
Is there a doctor in this ground |
||
Doctor6 | ||
Yes, there's a doctor in this ground Unless they abolish pay beds |
||
King of Egypt | ||
Where do you come from, tell me plain |
||
Doctor | ||
Ireland, Italy France and Spain |
||
King of Egypt | ||
A hundred thousand pounds I'll give |
||
Doctor | ||
That I'll do have no doubt I have a bottle
of Alicampayne [Takes a bottle of whisky out of bag and takes a
swig, Take a little of this bottle And let it run down thy throttle [Gives Slasher a sip then kicks with foot] A blow on the head, a blow on the heart [Nothing happens - he runs off] |
||
King of Egypt | ||
I know a trick that will not fail [He "borrows" drink from audience and feeds Slasher, who revives] |
||
Slasher | ||
Oh father, your face I'm glad to see |
||
George | ||
And now that I've my duty done [George carries off Phoebe] |
||
Fool | ||
Now that Saint George has cleared the way |
||
Soldier Bold | ||
In comes I, Soldier Bold |
||
Fat 'n Fine | ||
I'd not fight for him or any man alive |
||
Beelzebub | ||
That's enough of that |
||
In come I Beelzebub |
||
All | ||
Dirty old man! |
||
Devil Doubt | ||
Little Devil Doubt [He rushes around sweeping until Beelzebub flattens him with club] |
||
Johnny Jack | ||
In come I Johnny Jack Oh the
Thelwall Mumming lads are we [He is jeered off] |
||
Fool | ||
We've had enough of you [Dances Fools Jig] Kind friends our sport is done and we can no longer
stay |
||
All | ||
For we're jovial lads Come ladies and
gentlemen sat by the fire |
At this point a collection is then made.
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